When Pig's fly
by monsterme
Summary: one shot! Her resovle was she'd never go out with him. Her favourite line was When pigs fly. But during potions class she found her resolve flying away... JPLE


AN: one shot! (revised...i think i got all of the typos corrected... I think)

**When pigs fly:**

When pigs fly:

James sat at the gryffindor table staring at Lily Evans who was seated at the table across with the hot Ravenclaw prefects. In fact he was drooling and didn't even notice it. This war between him and her had been going on since they were 11 when James accidentally pushed the punch bowl at her when he was aiming it for Sirius. It wasn't his fault really. He did try to hold it back when he realized Sirius had hid behind Lily, but scrawny as he was back then he failed doing so.

Now they were in 7th year and she still hated his guts after everything that he tried to do to redeem himself. They were head boy and head girl but she still hadn't cut him any slack. He often wondered why the "Head Boy and Girl" theory worked on them. James, if not everyone else, wondered if Dumbledore was holding a underground dating service because almost every single head boy and girl end up dating and marrying. But that wouldn't be true for Lily Evans and James Potter, would it?

He watched Lily Evans laugh merrily with her friends and thought, 'tough luck, she wont like you back'. James would've gone up to her (_again_) and ask her out, (_again_) but he could just imagine her say her favorite retort at him. _"When Pigs Fly_".

At first it was cute and then it wasn't, due to the fact that every time she said it he lost more hope. If he did charm a pig to fly and she found out, she'd just hate him even more. James scrunched up his face as he thought of the predicament. How will he woe her into liking him. He hated to admit it but this was a loose loose situation.

HOW HOW HOW!

He imagined himself hitting his head on the thick oak doors of Hogwarts trying to think of ways to woe her. But then again he had been doing that since day 1 but _nooooo…_ Lily was as stubborn as he was with his vegetables.

Speaking of vegetables she was eating broccoli right now.

His thoughts however were interrupted by a blur of black robes running past him. He just shook his head as his two friends go after a squeaking pink mini pig. _'Not again' _he thought as he saw Sirius jump for it trapping his hyperactive pet pig.

James felt someone sit beside him, he thought that merlin he wished it wasn't that 6th year hufflepuff who's been hinting for him to ask her out. He was relieved however when found that Remus was sitting there. "Hey…" he said acknowledging his friend. "2 galleons McGonagall comes and shouts at Sirius in a minute" said Remus as he nonchalantly put a serving of mashers on his plate. James looked at his friend and cocked an eyebrow and then replied "2 Galleons say she comes in about 30 seconds".

Drawing out their right arms out and pushing their sleeves up, James and Remus stared at the matching timex watches the four got during their 4th year summer. _30 seconds_ later McGonagall stormed in the Great Hall striding steadily towards Sirius who was rolling on the stone floor trying to calm down the hyperactive pig, while Peter tried to block the pig's escape routes.

'Told ya mate" said James as he proceeded back to eating his lunch. Remus huffed and took out 2 galleons from his pocket and handed it to James' waiting hand.

"Mr. BLACK! Didn't I tell you that mini pigs are not allowed at Hogwarts!" she shouted furiously.

"Aw come on Professor, Bessie can't go back to the "tojour pur" house, she'd be fried there! Kreacher tried already! Plus some people have badgers. Those things are _dangerous_ like look at Narcissa! Why discriminate against my_ harmless_ hyperactive cute mini pig!" said Sirius as he pointed at his blonde cousin who was sneering at him ready to throw a spoonful of mash potatoes.

"Mr. Black!...Keep that pig down!" screamed McGonagall as Sirius finally caught the pig in his robes, which he took off revealing his sweaty white school shirt sticking to his torso. Half the female population in the great hall gasped and started giggling as Sirius winked at them randomly "how you doin?". Narcissa started to make gagging noises at her cousin.

McGonagall huffed and exclaimed "Sirius Black! That pig will be leashed unless you want me to personally hand it to the house elves to cook for Christmas!"

"Aww…you made Bessie sad Minnie!" Sirius said as he stroked the pig's head.

McGonagall said something to Sirius and stalked to the head table where Dumbledore sat laughing at the whole incident. Sirius then went to his seat across James then sat himself and Bessie on the empty seats. Peter went after him and sat across Remus.

"So…prongs….when are you going to get over Evans? Look at those girls at the Ravenclaw table. Tap that! I did, they dig the pig" asked Sirius.

"Pig you mean you?" James started. "…and the answer is never, look at her! So cute…" Surely he has been working with her as Head Boy for the past few months now, but she still hasn't even warmed up to him he wondered when would she ever warm up to him at all. _"Probably when I'm dead..."_ then again he was sure he'd be sent to hell.

"HEY! Course I was talking about Bessie!" said Sirius as he placed carrots on a plate for his pet pig. After a few minutes Remus stood up and said "we have 15 minutes before potions. Come on guys….and put Bessie somewhere okay Padfoot"

"Aw but mooney!" whined Sirius as he tried to make Peter kiss Bessie on the snout.

"No buts..."

"No she's coming to potions!" pressed Sirius.

"Fine…but if Slughorn cooks Bessie in front of you its not my fault…" concluded Remus as he walked out of the great hall in two was his 3 friends and Bessie.

Slughorn didn't feel good that period and had left the classroom to go to the hospital wing leaving his class to proceed brewing their potions. James was steering his concoction mindlessly while he bore a hole behind Lily Evan's pretty red head. Peter squeaked when James splattered some potion on his black robes. James jumped from the contact and started to take off his robes. The Hufflepuff girl behind him raised an eye brow as he pulled off his school shirt with the black robe.

The potion had melded the two fabrics together and if James hadn't taken off both his skin would've been melded with it too. An eruption of giggles started at the back which trailed to the front where other female students were. All the girls stopped working on their potions to look back at the topless James Potter in the middle table. The other marauders started snickering at him. James just tried to act as normal as possible as he tried to flush the spot with a water spell.

Lily was helping her table mate on the potion when the girl dropped her ladle to look back. Lily rolled her eyes as she turned to see what the rest of the female population was looking at. When she saw James Potter topless smirking at her, as he did a water spell over and over, she flushed pinker than that pig Bessie would ever be.

Why would she flush? Then she thought,_ "Okay fine, so he has a great body. Bugger no! Think when pigs fly Lily! Think straight! No not straight to his crotch…straight to your potion!"_ Lily's eyes trailed down his lean built torso to his crotch area. Slapping her hands to cover her eyes she turned back to her potion when she heard James say "So Evans…."

"No…" Lily said immediately trying to push out his topless image out of her head.

"I haven't even asked-"James said.

"-the answer is _no_ Potter" she said her voice faltering.

"Even if I stand here almost burning a whole in my body, you still won't go out with me?" James asked while Lily Evans did that head thing that she did just before she usually said her most favorite line in the world, "When pigs fly Pott-"

At that moment Bessie zoomed past them sporting purple faerie wings. They heard a Remus exasperatedly say "Oh Merlin, Sirius I said put **Bee wax**, not **Bessie** in the cauldron!"

"WHAT!...where is my Bessie!" shouted Sirius.

"Zooming around with purple wings" replied Peter who was entranced by the flying bacon.

"Pigs FLY!..." screamed Sirius

Lily almost fainted at that moment. She always thought, by the time people found out how pigs fly was when she died. Surely James Potter had mellowed down in the past year. He was now Head Boy after all. Sure he's cute. "_Ok fine... He's hot, but but…._"She stood there finding her resolve to why she wont date James bloody Potter slowly drifting away with Bessie the flying pig.

James stood there smirking at her as if he had just won a bloody cauldron full of gold coins, Leprechaun and rainbow included. Lily stuttered "You did that on purpose!" as Bessie wheezed around them.

"Evans, I'm over here they are over there. That's at least 5 meters away. So, you wanna go out with me?" James said as he leaned on the table letting his cleaning spell do its job. Lily kept her eyes shut as she faced James but she could her the pig squeak about just above her. "No..no…" she said.

"You always say, you'll go out with me when Pigs fly." Said James who was smirking at her flushed face. He got her this time!

_"Lily Evans, if you can hold your face from laughing when you met Pet's Dursley, you can look at James Potter topless…be strong!"_ she thought as slowly opened her eyes. She was trying to focus her sight on his smirking annoying cute face. "No! no go way Potter" she said as she waved her wand and repaired the clothes and charmed them to clothe James Potter again. Lily turned her back on him directed a finite incantantem at the pig which fell into James' hands.

"So you'll go out with me?" he asked excitedly as he held Bessie that excite pig.

Lily looked at him seriously and said, "When pigs evolve and fly with out magical interventions". And with that she smirked at him turned sharply around and smiled evilly at her potion while she continued on stirring it.

James stood there stunned. There was no loopholes in that answer…..


End file.
